How to Have a Heart Attack

I have decided that one sure fire way to make certain that you have heart trouble in your latter years is to give birth to an athlete.

 

Saturday was the first game of the 2013 Baseball Season at the fancy private school. After four, count them, four, intense (intense as in NOT) practices ... The Coach/Dad thinks the team is ready. I suppose they are as ready as fancy private school athletes get, I guess.

 

Practice season got cut a little short since there's a two week Spring Break at the fancy private school. No way you could submit your kid to that last six weeks of the fifth grade on just a one week break. That would be just mean!  Geez, guys you'd have to choose between skiing in Colorado or going to Europe. There's almost no way you could do both.  At least not flying commercially!  But I digress.

 

Back to the game Saturday......

 

By some miraculous turn of events, our boys are up by 6 going into the 6th and final inning.  The pitcher, the boy's nemesis, is starting to lose his luster.  He allows three runs and then loads the bases.

 

lets take a side trip for those of you that are unfamiliar with fifth grade baseball:  

 

See, there is very little good pitching, hitting or fielding going on at the fifth grade level.  Typically, what happens is that the pitcher walks a batter. Then the batter steals 2nd base --because these boys cant catch the coaches wont even allow them to try to pick a base runner off.  The runner then proceeds to steal third....then the next batter strikes out swinging at balls that are way over his head, but the third "strike pitch" is so dang wild that the catcher cant handle it (read, it didn't land square in the glove--insert eye roll) it hits the backstop.  While the catcher is frantically trying to recover the ball, the kid on third base steals home!   That's how runs are made in 5th grade baseball.

 

Back to Saturday.  The bases are now loaded.  The winning run is on 1st base.  Coach decides we need a new pitcher (really??)  So, who gets the call? Spen2 called off 1st base to pitch.... 1st game of the season, only four practices, bases loaded, only brown kid on the team (one... of two on the field, the opposing team -another fancy private school- had one, also). 

 

I move my folding "mommy chair" to right behind home plate.  I am eyeball to eyeball with my kid.  I know the game rest on me.  I must encourage each and every pitch out of this kid. I have heart palpitations... my hands are numb, what does that mean???

 

Spen2 allows two runs. I see his mouth moving, he closes his eyes, opens them and looks skyward...ooh, that's my boy, he's PRAYING! 

 

Then schwoop, strike one....

 

Schwoop, strike two. This is it. One more strike and its over....

 

He winds up and releases a beautiful pitch, which the batter nailed, CLANK!...  The ball was hit right back at Spencer!  The ball takes a bounce, and Spencer by instinct alone, snatched the ball on the bounce with his bare hand, spun around, threw it to first base....

 

OUT! 

 

Yeah boy!  Now that's my boy....

 

My right eye is twitching, but at least my hands aren't numb anymore!