From the Pool to the Papacy

Those of you that know The Boy (that would be my 10 year old, genius son, Spencer Craig Boyd II or "Spen2") today's Boy Story won't be too surprising. 

The Back Story:  I was raised Catholic.  However, for some time now, I have been non-denominational.   The Boy has been raised in a church that has more Baptist traditions than anything. 

Last week, on our 20 minute morning commute to the fancy private school, I began a conversation with him about the day's news and the Pope's resignation.   I surmised from his blank stare that I had somehow, over the last 10 years, failed to teach him anything about the Catholic Church.   I can't have the boy show up as the fancy private school completely oblivious to such a major World event.   So, I quickly went into training mode.  Take my phone, Google "Apostles Creed". Okay, got it? That's the foundation of the Church. 

Spen2 "How is that different from our church?"
Me "I am not entertaining questions right now... just follow along..."

Then I relate the church to a corporation like Wal-Mart.  A Priest is the Store Manager... Bishop... Cardinal.. all the way to Pope.  I tell him the Pope is the CEO.  I tell him the Pope is alleged to be more powerful that the President of the US.  I tell him that the Pope controls Billions if not Trillions in assets.  I tell him the Pope has a mansion and jewels and The Pope doesn't even walk, they carry him.

You see it coming, right???

Spen2 "I want to be the Pope." 

BOOM!  There it is.  You had to see it coming.   So, for those of you keeping notes,  that would make him the FIRST, African American,  Retired NBA, Retired MLB, Retired One Term Governor, Two Term President of the United States of America with an Olympic Gold in Swimming, Non Catholic (I guess we could fix that) Pope!  Go, Spen2.  Because I am his mom, and slightly crazy, I can see him riding around in that little Pope mobile now... I can see him rounding the bases after hitting a home run with the State Trooper security patrol all around him... I can hear the announcer now "Batting Fourth in the Clean up position, your starting pitcher, Governor Spencer Boyd"... crowd goes wild!

Now, that's FUNNY... but this is even funnier.  

Last night -when I was REALLY cranky from the entire weekend at the swim meet-  I was carrying on about some parent at the "fancy private school" that clearly thought she was in charge of everything!  I was on a rant. 
"I suppose when she walks in we should all genuflect." My son, ever the supportive child, piles on.  He says, "yeah mom, who does she think she is? The Pimp".  Screech... What the??   I love the pile on, but I was confused. 

"The Pimp?" 
"Yeah, remember you told me about him last week.  Hes in charge of the Catholic Church." 
"Oh, son, you mean The Pope.  Please don't say Pimp again."

Just gave myself my own penance... saying Hail Marys through lunch then I will start with The Lords Prayer.  Somebody PLEASE light a candle, lest we both BURN!